Monday, November 3, 2008
This is the CD cover for a project I did a while back in New York. My first piece of recorded music! A prime example of something seeming easier then it truly is.
I had been doing open mic poetry for a little while previous and had an on and off time at that. The feeling I got was of either flying or dying. And as humans (I suppose) we have a fascination for both so I kept at it and eventually decided I wanted to try singing as apposed to just "talking". This particular project came to me through a craigslist ad I either answered or placed. These two guys Scott and DJ Monchan (myspace.com/skyscraperwebcom) were putting together an EP and needed some vocals for a tract they already had. It wasn't what I was looking for, which was more of a live musician collab, but I opted for it anyway for the experience. Can I tell you it hurt. It hurt to hear myself sing in front of them over this piece of music that I couldn't dance with...if you get me. Also It hurt to suscept myself to the openness one needs to find in order to sing period. I wasn't portraying myself as a professional by no means. I knew this was something I had to work out on my own, though I was working with someone else, but I found this quite embarrassing. I felt shame not in my vocal skills but in my lack of confidence and seemingly inability to control my emotions during the whole thing. If I was of a paler hue I would have been beet red throughout most of the experience. I wanted so much to dive into the music and just swim in it, like I do at home, without a care in the world. But I couldn't. Now I blame this partially on the fact that it was prerecorded music because I had a few experiences live musicians and was able to let go quite easily and flow with it. Though at home I have lots of fun flowing, freely over tunes I hear on the "radio"....hum.
Anyway the tune is called inner dealing and it was taken from a poem I wrote after going through some other growing pains. The song and the LP (which was later produced) is available on iTunes but you can listen to it free on my podcast.